Last Day of 2009

heiyloh

Today, 31 of December 2009, is the last day of the year. So yeah, a new year is coming. 2009 means a lot to me. To be honest, it's my another wonderful year. I just know or ummm think or yea had some various feelings toward anything everything. I just realize how colorful life is. Life won't consist of happiness and laughs and joys at all the time. It will sometimes consist of sadness and cries and tears and will end up in giving up. Well, I guess, that's how life goes.

[...] My life was so messed up with no one knowing it. Not because I don't want to share my stories but just because I don't trust anyone. I don't trust anyone as in fully trusting. Keep that in mind, fully trusting. I do trust some people, I'm not so selfish that I think I can go through all the problems by myself. I do need people's helps. A lot.

Oh, happiness. Why are you so rare? Ummm I mean, why is it so hard to get you? 2009's happiness was quite great. Just because it's hard to get, so once I get, it's great! Happiness, okay, something that I always dream for starting this year since I've learnt how the real happiness should go like.

I love 2009.

m:)

Firsts

heiyloh

Here we go those firsts:
1. First as the earlier-er : Ms. Najat
2. First on the date [Indo time] : Annissa
3. First on the date [Qtr time] : Indri

4. First as the late-er : sorry, I forgot to see who's on this. I noticed the time but I forgot to see the name :(

Thanks to all of you guys who wished me happy birthday. 102 people wished me, thanks a lot. There might be more but I missed. Thanks for the presents. I love them and I will try to keep them as long as I can. Thanks thanks thanks again. Love you people.

m:)

16

heiyloh

Now is 27! 12:00 !

Wooo, I'm 16. Hahaha .

Bye 15. I love you.

m:)

Last Day of Being 15

heiyloh

Tonight, I'm turning 16. A new age life will soon begin. Ahhh, feel like the time goes too fast. As my age increases, I don't feel so much differences. I'm still as me like this. Just hope my life will get better and more happiness to come :) !

I will probably write lots of small notes on papers today. I will miss my 15. A truly colorful age. Seriously, it's hard to to forget even though I had already forget some. I love my 15.

m:)

Four Entries For Birthday

heiyloh

I made four kind of entries for my birthday for those who wish me first .
1. First as the earlier-er
2. First on the date [Indo time]
3. First on the date [Qtr time]
4. First as the late-er [who say it a day after my birthday, according to my zone time.]

Well. I would like to post the name, of course, for those firsts. Hahaha, wanna have something interesting this year since I don't really get excited for my birthday. I know it seems so silly but I like it.

Curiousity is in on the way now...

Can't wait to see.

m:)

27, It's Getting Closer

heiyloh

Three more days and I lose my another year. Exactly on this 27, is my birthday. I don't really get excited this year, no idea why. Seriously, I don't feel like having a birthday. Not because I get no special gift, but ummm yeah I don't know. I grow up now, I need to be more matured.

Birthday is actually losing a year to live. Realise this, each year, your age is added, but at the same time your chance to live decreases, right ? So it means you lose a year to live. We all are getting older, not younger. This is a real fate.

I don't want to lose my another year. I want this 27 to be postponed. I don't want to be this soon. I really need more days.

However, birthday doesn't mean a sad day to cry for at all. It is a happy day, too! We are still given a chance to live till this much old. Right ?

Oia, and I'm curious who is gonna say a happy birthday to me, the first one after or on 00:00 27 December 2009 !

m:)

Old School's Foundation Day

heiyloh

Yuhuuu, just came back from attending my old school's foundation day. It was quite fine. I saw some of my old classmates there. They had not change, still the same, as in appearances.

At 5 something in the evening, the show began. People started to scramble in front of the stage to take videos or pictures. It was annoying, really! I couldn't see anything, and I guess the same thing happen to people behind me. Since many people blocked the view from the front side, so some people in front of me stood up as well. And of course, I totally can't see anything now. As the show continued, most of the people in front stood up. So do I. I didn't really care about the people behind me. But I thought they were also standing. Hahaha.

The first performance was from KG1. They danced to Wonder Girls's Nobody. Hahaha, it was so damn funny! Unfortunately I didn't take the video of it because I couldn't find my camera at home. They were like robots! Very awkward. Their movements were too stiffs. Hahaha, sooo funny !

Then, when it's my sister's turn, it was quite interesting to watch. They danced to African Dance. I tried to take the video of it, but failed. Why? Because of all those heads in front of me. I was standing but still. Mom asked to go to the front but I don't want. Heheheee.

When she finish dancing, she came to us. I told her that I didn't take the video or even a picture. She felt disappointed, I knew that. But, yeah, what can I do? :D

m:)

She's

heiyloh

She cries whenever she remembers her pasts. She wipes her tears everyday. She laughs for some unfunny jokes. She tries to act normal. She smiles when someone she likes walk by. She hates some people that close to her. She likes humour a lot, but she often create one. She holds the stair-handle when she walks down or up. She hides all her pains behind. She shows fake smiles, mostly. She wants to scream but she can't. She doesn't like to be ignored, but she is being ignored. She attempts to connect to the conversation, but she always fail. She loves to see people around her happy, although she hates the people. She wants to be someone. She keeps all her true stories alone. Whoever is she, she might be someone near you.

m:)

Jam 3 Belum Tidur Juga

heiyloh

Gila! Sekarang udah mau jam 3 pagi. Parahnya gue belum tidur2 juga. Ah! Kacau, pola tidur gue balik berantakan lagi! Ntar begitu tidur bangun2 jam setengah 12an siang. PARAH BANGET! Gini caranya, pola idup gue ga sehat lagi. Ckckckck. Harus berubah!

m:)

Hypnotized

heiyloh

I felt like you had a magnet that can pull me closer anytime. Not even a single day without looking at you. You stole my time and gave no rewards but laughs. You smiled that smile, freezed me immediately. I couldn't move a step, my eyes were stopped blinking. I became a human statue. You talked to me, it melt my heart for real. I fell too deep in this. There is no way of turning back. Your traps are too strong to be rejected. You hypnotized me, again.

m:)

Voice

heiyloh

I heard it once, wait or twice? the closest one to my ears. you had such a lovable voice and i like it. i wanna hear it more, more, and more. i can't believe it that your voice could fly me up to the sky. spun me around and blown away all my minds.

if i can hear your voice again, i really want to record it so that i can hear it everyday. honestly i can't escape from this sweet trap and i love it.

m:)

Finding Happiness

heiyloh

I believe that everyone deserves happiness. but when to deserve it, is a question. it can be suddenly happen or with a long patient waiting. i do experience that. a long patient waiting one. for years, i got stuck in a dim world. less happiness, seriously. i almost gave up with all my hopes, where actually i can stand for them. everything blinded, i couldn't see anything. my life was hopeless. but i tried not to give up in any ways. it was hard, very hard. i had to stay in a world full of tears and sadness. i must face them. i couldn't run away. it's what called by life.

however, there would be a time where bad life will change. even though i need to wait for years. hard work is needed to reach what we aim. and my aim, happiness. i found it. although it's not a perfect one, but at least i got it. i'm trying to find more and more. i'm trying to recover all pains within this happiness. to recover them, needed another hard work. and so life continues. more challenges to come.

m:)